If Bar Crawlers Drank Better Beer

The bar crawl has become the thing to do in today's American binge-beer culture. Chances are, if you haven't partaken in the all night activity yourself, you know someone who has.

Early on in my beer drinking lifestyle (not that long ago), my friends and I would do the "South Side Crawl" in the South Side of Pittsburgh, PA. We'd hit up half of a dozen bars in one night, walking, of course. It was a great way to freshen the view while imbibing bland light beer after bland light beer, and it certainly was an expression of our excitement from being able to be served alcohol like an adult finally.

Nowadays, a few friends still stick to the routine, but I've grown out of it for more than one reason. First being, I'm a married man. Not only do I have no interest in going to several bars in one night, intoxicating myself to the point that I shouldn't drive, but a married man has no business acting like a bachelor, and behaving like a fool with no attachments. Secondly, I don't drink light beer. Light beer is the key to bar crawls.

Light beer is the key to bar crawls for two reasons. One: light beer allows one to drink excessively all night, so walking to bar after bar to limited selection bar after limited selection bar isn't a problem. Secondly, and this really points to why bar crawls are so "fun": light beer is boring, and as a result, people that drink light beer tend to not enjoy staying in one place all night.

Light beer drinkers don't much like conservation either, unless it involves texting someone on their cell phone, discussing sports, or something else that is on a big-screen TV while at a bar (for the time being...). But after hanging around with someone in the same bar, even when a sports game is on (and that is pretty much always), after a little while the instinct for conversation rears its ugly head and the awkwardness of social obligation forces the light beer drinker to suggest, "Hey, how about we go to the next bar?"

This is where the craft beer drinker should step in and say, "Actually, I was kind of thinking I'd try that curious beer on tap that is flanked by Miller Lite & Budweiser. I heard it's a witbier. Want to give it a shot?" From that angle, as long as the crawler bit the bait, the possibilities for social interaction and--one can only hope--better beer drinking are pretty intriguing. Wouldn't you agree?